Life After Diets works ... 

"All the degrees in the world don't come close to the lived experience, that you have Karla.  You are truly an inspiration and I thank you.  I am well on my way to a better and healthier relationship with food." Angela

"Ive got more out of one session with you than seven years of therapy with psychologists and other counsellors, even some who say they specialise in eating issues!  Don't ever stop what you are doing, you are a life saver!"  Sarah

"I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart, you were such a huge part of my recovery.  I would not have been able to push through and come out the other side if it wasn’t for you.  I can finally say I see the light at the end of the tunnel.  My relationship with food has tremendously changed and improved and so has my relationship with my husband.  I gained the weight I needed to in ‘my’ time which has had a huge impact on my brain and body function.  I now get hungry. Lol!  Everyday isn’t always a breeze but it’s easier to listen to the positive and not the negative.  I will always remember that you helped to save my life"  Claire.

"I've struggled with dieting, binge eating and my body image for 27 years now, since I was 17.  I've read all the books, bought the programs, tried the more reputable weight loss centres and visited dozens of doctors, counsellors and psychologists.  They all give you basic advice and try to be helpful but nothing has worked for me in the long term.  No-one really understands this issue like you do.  They don't know binge eating and the hell that it is.  You've been there and you honestly know what it's like.  That's why what you are doing is so unique.  I feel like your program is giving me lots of suggestions and options to choose from so I can do this my way.  All the others just tell you what to do and what to eat and I cannot stand to be told what to eat anymore!  That's the difference.  I am just so happy I have found you and to know that you are supporting me with this.  I feel a lot better in this short time and I am already achieving personal goals I never thought would be possible.  Thank you so much Karla"  Cheryl

"Your program was absolutely instrumental in helping me overcome the grip of bulimia. Although it was still a bit of a journey after my program ended with you, the learnings and knowledge stuck with me and I continued to work through my issues with food and eating, knowing that dieting was not the answer. Two years down the track and I am the healthiest and happiest I have ever been. I eat whatever I want, which typically is an abundance of all the amazing wholesome “good” stuff that nature provides, including my daily dose of chocolate.  I am now challenging myself fitness wise, and am proud to report that today I completed my goal of running the Bridge to Brisbane 5km race in under 30 minutes. I feel like a totally different person than the one that came to you. The funny thing about it too is that I am probably the same size I was when I met you (size 10-12), but feel so comfortable and healthy and gorgeous. Amazing what a difference our attitudes make, don’t they!"   With deepest gratitude, Mandie.

 

 

All testimonials on this website are 100% genuine.  Some clients names have been changed to protect their privacy.

 

 

 

 

 

Blog > Over-responsibility and Over-eating ... Part 2 >

What You Think of me is None of my Business

 

How much of the quality of your life is controlled by what you think other people think of you?

For people who emotionally eat, the figure would be close to one hundred percent.  Why is this so?  We have been conditioned from a very early age that we must modify our behaviour to please others – or we risk losing their love and approval. 

We were carefully chosen among our siblings to be the one who did everything to help because of our conscientious, compliant personalities.  We were a major convenience to use as we were non-confrontational, we didn’t complain or put up a fight. 

We became wind-up obedient dolls carrying out chores as required, whether it was fairly innocent acts of service like clearing the plates after dinner, washing up, helping Mum with younger siblings, or on the other end of the spectrum, a totally inappropriate misuse of power where we had to take on the role of parent because our primary care giver had already assumed the role of a child.

If there were blurred boundaries or straight out violated boundaries in our childhood, we digest a powerful unspoken message that who we are doesn’t matter and how we feel doesn’t count.  Our sole responsibility is to make the other person happy and relieve their suffering.  We’re left with our familiar feelings and good buddies, Invalidated and Invisible.

Fast forward a few decades and now we’re supposed to be a fully functioning adult and wondering why we feel so out of control with food and ineffective in our lives most of the time. 

To be the author of our own lives, we need to take our power back one conversation at a time, one incident at a time.  Other people don’t take our power, we give it away hoping to get something in return. 

Many of us have had the experience of the people closest to us (whose love we want the most) making judgemental comments about what we’re eating, how we look or how we ‘should’ be according to their narcissistic view point.  Their power trip only works if we buy into it; that is if we dive in and take responsibility for their feelings by modifying our behaviour in an attempt to please them.  We have a choice here, we don’t have to pick it up.

Have you ever stopped to consider that what other people think or say about you actually has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them? 

Their thoughts are their thoughts, their opinions, their judgements, their perceptions and their beliefs. 

For a different outcome, the next time you are on the receiving end of an opinion you don’t agree with, try this response: “Hmm, that’s interesting” then break eye contact and either look away or walk away, whatever is appropriate for you. 

You need to practise saying it without any emotion in a monotone voice as if you’re asking for the salt and pepper to be passed.  Then if a feeling of guilt creeps in (for not playing your usual role of People Pleaser) just notice the guilt and then notice it leaving your body, see it for the dark energy that it is and watch it float away.  Take a deep breath in of clean energy and let it out in a loud and laboured way.  Congratulations, you just took your power back in that moment.

If you didn’t quite manage it this time, fear not, there will be plenty more opportunities waiting for you just around the corner.  We can be grateful to the universe for placing these triggering people in our paths specifically to help us deal with these issues!

In these challenging life situations, as much as we might want it, no one is going to tap us on the shoulder and step in as a referee to help us take our power back, that’s something only we can do for ourselves, using our courage in the moment it’s happening. 

Making your life your own is a process of discovering your identity: who you are, what kind of person you are, what interests you, what pleases you, what you believe in and what you care about. 

At the end of the day, the person whose opinion matters most is yours.  What you think of you is more important than what anyone else thinks of you.  Value and validate your thoughts and feelings every day.  If you don’t value yourself as a person, no one else will either.

In the inspirational words of Martin Luther King: “Freedom will never be granted voluntarily by the oppressor, it must be demanded by the oppressed”.

 

© Copyright 2016  Karla Cameron


 
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